How You’ll Find Out He Isn’t The One

You will not listen until it’s too late.

You’ll meet him at the most random place, at the most random time. You didn’t expect him; you just prayed for him. You wished someone like him would come into your life, and he does, right when you don’t expect it. He will ask you out to coffee, and you will hesitate. You go anyway. He takes you to a nice place, somewhere near you for your convenience. What you don’t expect is he brings his family with him, and you meet them for the first time, totally unprepared and looking very haggard from work. He doesn’t care; he tells you, you look pretty. You will lead him to Starbucks, and he will buy coffee for the both of you: Dark Mocha, his favorite. You ask about his siblings and what University they are in and you watch him in the light and see how beautiful he is; right then, you know he isn’t the one.

You go out with him again, and he takes you to a parking lot. It gives you a thrill, and it becomes your parking lot – the one you share with him. You’ll talk about his past over a couple of smokes, and you’d realize how deep of a person he actually is. You’ll have your first fight over a girl he knows, to which he denied his feelings for you. You’re hurt, but you pretend you’re not, and he makes it up to you the best he can. Your heart will soften. He promises he won’t do it ever again and that he’s sorry that he did. You realize, he isn’t the one.

You write for him. This boy doesn’t read, but he will read all your works about him, because he cherishes it. Through it, he finds out things about you and what you think of him. He loves it. You will fight with him on your first month – you will fight with him a lot – but by this time, you have forgotten what you fought about or if it was even worth it. You will have endless sleepless nights together, on the phone, just talking for hours until the sun comes up and hear him fall asleep on you slowly, his breathing the only thing you hear. You will find it endearing, but you already know, he isn’t the one.

After numerous fights, you break up with him. For good this time. And you don’t expect him to walk away, but he does. You will spend your nights regretting him for all he’s worth and the time you wasted with him when you could’ve been with someone else. You will stalk him and feel bad when you realize he’s moved on without you. You get angry at yourself. And you say you should have listened the first time you said he just wasn’t the one.

You always knew, but didn’t listen. You knew because of the way his eyes sparkled when he first saw you, and you knew it wasn’t supposed to be like that. He wasn’t  supposed to look at you like you were the prize; you were the challenge that he had to win. You knew because the one isn’t supposed to mistreat you the way he does, even with the most minor things. He’s not supposed to be insensitive to how you feel. You knew he wasn’t the one because he falls asleep on you regularly and you let him, but when it comes to you, he gets mad. He was unfair. You knew he wasn’t the one because he made you regret. Happy times were not enough to overpower the bad.

You will wish you can restart your love story all over again. Because the heartbreak is fresh, you will want it to be right this time. You will do everything to make it right. But when you learn to be smart and think for yourself, you wouldn’t want to do it again. You will be happy and contented, and you can safely say that if you were given a chance to meet him again for the very first time, you would walk the fuck away. Because he just wasn’t the one.

Sad girls.

You’d never know what humanity is capable of until you put it to the test.

Never tell sad girls that you want them, until you’re ready to be called at three in the morning because of an anxiety attack. Never tell a sad girl you can take it, unless you can put up with hysterical sobs because of a stupid song. Never tell a sad girl you love her unless you really mean it.

These days, all I see are carcasses of once-happy girls that were full of life. Now, they have spiraled down to depression and every single bad thing will lead them to endless nights of crying and will remember it for exactly forever. I don’t pity these girls, because I know by experience that they wouldn’t want pity. They don’t want to be looked at with sad eyes and with thoughts that dub them as freaks. They need help, but with little attention as possible.

It takes everything, especially guts, to care for a girl like this. It takes everything not to walk away from her when she needs you most. It takes everything not to give up on her when she’s in one of her fits. It takes patience and enough love to make her feel okay again.

The problem with these sad girls, they aren’t very trusting. They think the whole world is against them and would not want to accept help from anyone, even someone who is deeply in love with them.

What they look for is someone they can love them for everything..

Before falling in love with a sad girl, you must fall in love with her bad things. You must fall in love with the way she pushes you away, but wanting you to chase her back. You must fall in love with the way she craves pizza at the most random times and must be prepared to be her delivery boy. You must fall in love with the way she looks after she showers, or the way she looks when she wakes up, or the way she looks like when she’s crying and find them all equally beautiful. You must fall in love with the way she tears up after finishing a great book and be ready to make her tea and hold her until she gets over it.  You must fall in love with her strength as she tries her best to stay happy. You must fall in love with the way she gets all insecure when she doesn’t wear makeup and always be there to encourage her that she looks amazing regardless.

After that, you can fall in love with the greater things. You can love her for the way she smiles as you push her hair into her ears. You can love her when she dresses up for you. You can love her laugh and her rare and happy moments. You can fall in love with the way she leaves little notes to show you she misses you. You can love her when she cooks for you. You can love her while she asks you to do her look for today or braid her hair or pick out her outfit.

If you can’t love her wholly, then don’t fall in love with her at all.

Prove to a sad girl that you are capable of understanding her with all of your heart, never losing your temper, never lifting a hand, never saying harsh words when she doesn’t deserve it. But also being able to make her the best person she can be without being sad with her. Prove to a sad girl that you are capable of giving her the world to the best you can.

We Need To Feel The Heartbreak – All Of It

There are times when great romances go wrong. When everything was panning out smoothly, there’s suddenly a wrinkle in the perfectness of the relationship. Slowly, it rips apart, bit by bit, until the whole thing is ruined. Most people don’t like accepting that fact; the fact that the person they thought they would spend the rest of their lives with turned out to be a fake illusion of hope. They tend to avoid it at all costs, ignoring the ache they feel whenever they hear that person’s name.

This is wrong.

Heartbreaks should be embraced wholly. It should be felt, and over-thought and over-analyzed to absorb the hurt of the raw emotion. Think of every painful word of the breakup that fateful July fourth under the fireworks. Or that desolation when you woke up at 3 am and found him gone, not a single sock on the floor. It should be remembered for years on end.

Pain changes people, and sometimes, the change is for the good. They become stronger and braver than they were, having been put to the test. They learn not to trust immediately and do this with reserve. They learn to love the 40-60 way, leaving 40 percent to yourself, so as not to completely lose their grip. They learn that, in love, you must not give your world, but instead just share it, for if we let the person slip, our world slips with them.

We need to feel all of the hurt from that heartbreak. If we didn’t, it wouldn’t matter that our heart was teared up in half, stomped on, ripped, shattered and shat on by that person who we last gave it to, that person who we trusted to care for it, but didn’t. If we didn’t, we would keep loving them with our broken hearts, with all the tiny little pieces.