What I’ve Always Wanted To Tell You

Thank you.

You gave my life a different perspective. Before you I never thought feeling things would be okay. You made me think that maybe, some risks are worth it. Maybe you and I, we’re worth it. You made me re-think every possible good thing that can happen.

I’ve never been one for relationships and commitment. They take too much time to maintain. I have better things to do, I always tell myself. But with you, you make me question why I ever felt like I was made to be alone. You made me believe that maybe, even the most broken people can be pieced back together with a tight hug from the right person. You made me believe that you were the right person.

Before you, I had a negative look on life. I always thought that love can change everything, and love can make it all better. But I also knew for a fact that it didn’t. Love will fall apart sooner or later. I guess you can say I’m a realistic optimist. I knew that even if I invested time and effort and feelings into someone, there wouldn’t be a chance still because the universe has a way of playing with people to make them feel like this is it.

I’ve never felt for anyone the way I felt for you. You were something else. It kept bothering me that maybe, just maybe, this story would actually happen. Maybe you’d be brave enough to take my hand and write with me. Maybe you’d take a leap of faith over fear just to say that maybe, maybe we should be together. I can’t shake off the feeling that we could’ve been something amazing.

I don’t feel sad. I’m not angry or bitter or back in that loveless zone I was in before I met you. I guess I just realized that this isn’t supposed to be. Maybe the universe was right this time to keep us apart. Time and space are relative. In another life, maybe it could have been. But for now, you’re my favorite what if. You’re the thing that keeps me questioning. For now, you’re nothing but a “could’ve been”, a “would’ve been”, a big “maybe”, if only the universe was on our side.


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