To My Future Daughter

Dearest girl,

All my life I’ve prayed for you. I’m not sure if you will grow up with a father, since I never planned on getting married. I hope you will not hate me for this. I hope you will feel like having me is enough. I will do my best to be everything you will ever need in a parent. I will make sure you have food in your tummy and good thoughts in your head before you go to sleep. I will indulge in your passions and love it as much as I love you.

Someday, honey, you will let go of me. You’ve lived your entire life with me by your side but I want you to know I am right here. You don’t have to be afraid, because if there is something I can promise you, it’s the fact that I will be with you through anything. I am just one call away if you ever feel like this world is too much for you. You will feel lonely on some days and I hope and pray you find solace in my company.

One day, someone is going to break your heart. I’m in no place to say who, or when, or how, but when it happens, I will be your wall. You can lean on my shoulder and stain my best sweater with your favorite mascara and scream into my ear that the world is unfair. I’d understand.

Darling, I don’t want you to end up like me. I promised myself I’d be the parent I never had. If you don’t feel like getting up on bad days, tell me and I’d lay with you to talk about what bothers you, or what makes you happy, or who you’re in love with. I want you to find peace with me, even if we won’t always get along. Even then, I’d love you. I’d rather talk to you about whatever it is you’re going through rather than see you drown yourself in bottles of vodka alone in your room. We’ll toast with wine instead.

I believe you will go great places. You will succeed on most days, and fail on others. If the day comes that you lose faith in yourself, remember that I always believe in you. I will be your personal cheerleader all the time, even if it gets embarrassing for you. Someday, you will have your own family, my love. You will have your own children to care for. I hope you tell them about me. I hope you never forget that the love of a mother is eternal and that all the love I gave you, I saved up since the day I was born. I want you to know that the way I care and love you is the way I wish I was loved and cared for. Remember me as the mother who loved her daughter the way she was supposed to love herself.

All the best,

Mom

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